You can now pick up a copy of Blood Trade in digest paperback format for $5.50 plus shipping and handling. Find it by following this link.
Monthly Archives: August 2013
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Now at Diesel Ebooks.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is now available at The World Famous Diesel Ebook Store. Follow this link. Ebooks from Diesel can be read on Apple, Android, and other devices.
It is the year 2037, when men are men and robots are cute. Patience, the robot wife, has a new friend– Wanda. Wanda, another Daffodil, has been having difficulty bonding with her human, the recently divorced Ryan. She hopes that with Patience’s mentoring, she’ll be able to help Ryan accept her into his troubled life. But even Patience isn’t prepared for what happens when they take a joint vacation cruise to Antarctica. His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is a science fiction story in a world where technology is more than just a pretty face.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Now for iBooks
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is now available at iBookstore. Follow this link, or look it up from iBooks. With the next update to OS X, iBooks will be available for the Mac, something I’m looking forward to. Until then, you can read it on your iPhone, iPad, iPad Mini, or your iPod.
It is the year 2037, when men are men and robots are cute. Patience, the robot wife, has a new friend– Wanda. Wanda, another Daffodil, has been having difficulty bonding with her human, the recently divorced Ryan. She hopes that with Patience’s mentoring, she’ll be able to help Ryan accept her into his troubled life. But even Patience isn’t prepared for what happens when they take a joint vacation cruise to Antarctica. His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is a science fiction story in a world where technology is more than just a pretty face.
The World of Senta and the Steel Dragon : I-K
Importance of Pleasing the Misses, The: A play by Leda Stolz, filled with sexual innuendo, The Importance of Pleasing the Misses has seen little time on stage, but is quite popular in Brechalon in book form.
Iguanodon: Iguanodons are the most common Birmisian dinosaur. They are bulky herbivores that shift from bipedality to quadrupedality. They average about 3 tons and 30 feet long for adults, with rare specimens up to 45 feet long. They have large narrow skulls and toothless duckbill mouths, and range in color from olive green to redish-brown. Iguanodons live in herds of 20 to 100 individuals.
Iguanodon Heath: Located ten miles west of Port Dechantagne in Brech Birmisia, Iguanodon Heath is a large open plain where visitors can see vast herds of dinosaurs. Famous for the large numbers of iguanodon, the heath is also home to large groups of saltasaurus, triceratops, and ankylasaurs.
In Search of the Rainbow: A book of poetry by Leda Schraam.
Intruder: A long Freedonian novel, Intruder by Anarosa Freedman is considered anti-Zaeri in theme.
Isle de Fortann: A large island in the Thiss beside Brech City, Isle de Fortann is home to Fort Tharbin, which protects the city from any invasion that might come upriver.
Isle of Winds, The: A tiny, rocky island, the Isle of Winds was the center of a magic dampening zone. In 1499, the fortress of Schwarztogrube was constructed on the island. By 1750, Schwarztogrube had become a prison for wizards and sorcerers. Near New Years day in 1899, Schwarztogrube and the Isle of Winds disappeared of the face of the world. At first it was believed that some act of god was responsible, but it was later discovered to have been the work of an escaped sorceress—Zurfina the Magnificent.
It All Turned to Dust: A long and rather depressing novel by Mirsannan writer Raphael Ragone.
Ixec: Ixec was a warrior empire built upon the ashes of the abandoned Doglon city-states. Taking much of its culture from earlier empires, Ixec reveled in blood sacrifice and torture. Ixec was one of the few regions not visited by Magnus the Great, so was unaffected by the spread of the Zaeri religion. Beginning in 266, Kafirites began proselytizing in Ixec, and by around 1000, two thirds of the populace had been converted. In 1192, Kafirism became the official religion.
Jaquesville: A small town in Brechalon.
Jaquesville, S.S.: One of the cargo ships making the run from Brechalon to Birmisia.
Journey to Enclep, A: A book by Mirsannan author Shia Toler.
Jungles of Brick: A book by Maddchen Schaub which tells the story of several families living in a mouldering brownstone apartment building.
Juton: Juton was one of a pair of deities worshiped in ancient Akkas. Juton was the aspect of light and was directly opposed to his twin: Treffia. Though both names have been found on the few ancient monuments that remain of Akkas, little is known of their temples or religions practices.
Kafira Kristos: Born about -20, Kafira Kristos became a Zaeri Imam about year 5. After a few years, she began teaching a variant of Zaeri that called for a belief in an afterlife, a life devoted to God, and a disregard for worldly affairs. She became a target of the Xygian clergy and was charged with heresy and crucified in year 13. Within three years, she had become the focus of a religious movement that swept across the world. Today, Kafirism is the dominant human religion.
Kafira and the Barbarians: A religious text by Liana Reuter, rife with inaccuracies.
Kafira Mass: The major holiday in Kafiradom, Kafira Mass celebrates the birthday of Kafira Kristos. Though her true date of birth is unknown, it is almost universally celebrated on Kafirius 25th.
Kafira’s Cross: A religious text by medieval writer Kenitra Madoff, Kafira’s Cross is widely read across Sumir.
Kafira’s Family: A text by Freedonian writer Liana Rueter, considered both historically inacurrate and heretical.
Kafiradom: A common term for the part of the world in which the worship of Kafira dominates religion. In modern times, Kafiradom is synonymous with the entire human world.
Kafirius: Kafirius is the twelfth month of the modern reformed calendar. It has 30 days. Kafira Mass, the highest holy day of the Kafirite religion is Kafirius 25th. Kafirius 25th is also the birthday of Saba Colbshallow.
Kasselburg: A beautiful city in western Freedonia, Kassleburg sits on a plateau in the Halyon Mountains. Kasselburg University is a noted institution of science and fine arts. Kasselburg is known to most Brechs for the potato dish named for it. Isaak Wissinger lived and worked in Kasselburg before being forced into Zurelendsviertel.
Keiman, Abban: A popular Brech writer, Abban Keiman writes extensively on life in Brechalon. Most of his works contain numerous religious references and parallels.
King’s Oval Park: King’s Oval Park is a large venue of cricket in the northern portion of Brech City. King’s Oval Park is located on Scrum Boulevard, and is arranged for use by up to a dozen cricket matches and two rugby games.
King’s Warehouse: Located just off Contico Boulevard, the massive storage facility of King’s Warehouse is a distribution site for food to the poor.
Kiss Me Before I Die: A book by Dallorian writer Lamis Warlick, Kiss Me Before I Die is very popular in both Brechalon and Freedonia.
Klumb, Indrajit: The son of a Freedonian father and a Mirsannan mother, Indrajit Klumb moved to Borazon becoming one of that country’s most popular authors and serving in the Borazon Parliament.
Korlata: One of the Donnata city-states, Korlata is the birth-place of democracy, and is justly famous for its art and architecture.
Kutambata: A village in central Enclep, Kutambata is the source for much of the world’s white opthalium.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Chapter 5 Excerpt
“There’s a Burger 21 on the corner. I’m going to stop there. I think you do need to eat something.”
They stopped and went inside. Mike squinted up at the multimedia menu. The popular hamburger chain featured burgers that rotated in and out each month. At any one time there were twenty-one different burgers available, and there were many different size combinations. You could also get your choice of beef, turkey, veggie, or chicken.
“Nothing sounds good,” said Mike as he stared at the vast array of burger types. “What should I get?”
“I’ll order for you. Go sit down.”
Mike nodded and headed for a booth, while Patience turned her attention to the robotic clerk. He didn’t quite look like a Gizmo, but he certainly wasn’t a Daffodil. He was probably a German import, like her new yardbot.
“One Damn Gouda Burger, double junior size, with everything; an order of onion rings, and a large Diet Pepsi.”
Her order delivered to her within two minutes, Patience carried it on a green plastic tray to where Mike was sitting. She carefully unwrapped his food and set it in front of him, before taking her place across the table. He took a long sip of his drink before taking a large bite of his hamburger.
“This is a damn good burger,” he said appreciatively.
“No, it’s a Damn Gouda Burger.”
“Ah, very clever. Good choice.” He took a few more bites, then ate an onion ring, and then sighed. “Yes, that’s better. My headache is starting to go away already.”
He lifted his Diet Pepsi to his mouth.
“You know you shouldn’t drink that,” said a female voice from right beside them. “It’s full of chemicals.”
Mike looked up at the woman standing beside them, his face frowning in annoyance.
“It has exactly the same amount of chemicals as the same-sized cup of regular Pepsi or water or milk or blood. Those are all made up of chemicals, as is the human body and everything else on earth. Didn’t you learn anything in school? Who the hell are you anyway?”
“This is Mariah Keller,” said Patience.
“I just wanted to see who was with the whorebot,” said Mariah.
Mike snorted. “Well, you got the bot part right. I’d say the rest of it was pretty rich, coming from you.”
“I don’t know what she told you about me…”
“Actually, I was unaware that you two had met. Everything I know about you comes from your ex-husband.”
Mariah frowned.
“That was a mistake. I didn’t realize what I had. I’ve changed.”
“What did you do? Have your legs sewn shut?”
Mariah’s eyes teared up, and turning, she hurried from the restaurant.
“That was mean, Mike,” said Patience.
“Don’t you start with me,” he said, turning back to his burger. “As soon as my headache is gone, you’re going to tell me all about your mysterious meetings with Mrs. Keller.”
“Just one meeting…”
“Ah! I said, ‘when my headache is gone’.” He took another bite. “This is a Damn Gouda Burger.”
Liar Liar, Pants on Fire
I have stopped posting monthly sales figures and the like, because “It’s not about book sales; it’s about connections with readers.” So other than major milestones, I’m not going to list sales or download numbers. But I do scrupulously track them– at least so much as I am able. Part of the problem with that is that several of my books have been available free at iBookstore (and still are) and until recently iTunes/Smashwords hadn’t notified me of sales numbers (on free books) all the way back to 2010. I compensated for this by estimating them based upon sales at other ebook retailers. Now finally, they have released the numbers and I’ve been a bit off.
I had recently posted that His Robot Girlfriend had passed 450,000 downloads. Whoops, not so fast. The actual number is only 423,204. Not quite there, but not that far off. On the other hand, I had celebrated Eaglethorpe Buxton and the Elven Princess passing 100,000 downloads. I was a quite a bit off on this one. The actual number of downloads is 54,675.
And just for the sake of completion, here are the actual download numbers for the other free books. Eaglethorpe Buxton and the Sorceress: 45,291. Senta and the Steel Dragon Book 1: Brechalon: 12,098.
Life and Art: Knee Edition
For those of you reading His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue (and for those who haven’t yet) a part of the plot is Mike injuring his knee and the associated doctor’s visits. Most of that comes right from real life. Mike is in fact, the most like me of any of my characters– we’re both schoolteachers, about the same age (he was older than me when we started, but I’m catching up), overweight (though Mike has lost his extra pounds), and generally obnoxious. So, many little elements in all three books come from my own life.
About a year and a half ago, I injured my knee in a very similar way to how Mike injures his. I went through the whole process of seeing doctor after doctor, and like Mike, was almost walking again by the time the bone guy saw me. Unlike Mike, I had the surgery to “fix” my leg. I came out of that almost completely unable to walk. After physical therapy, I was better and I did continue to improve, but I had continual problems with my knee swelling and locking up. I had injections of steroids, draining of fluids, etc, and through it all my doctor seemed to think I should just get up and dance my way out the door.
Finally I went to another doctor. He said my knee was totally shot– bone on bone– no cartilage left. I would probably need a knee replacement in the near future. He gave me a series of injections that were supposed to lubricate the spaces between the bones and act like a buffer. It took several weeks to get the injections and then there was a wait of six weeks for them to take full effect. But they worked. My knee wasn’t great, but it felt a whole lot better. That lasted for six weeks. Now it’s back to where it was before those injections. This has been really depressing.
Well, I’m done with doctors. I’ll be royally damned if I ever let one open up my knee again. I’ve decided the best thing I can do is to build up my leg muscles. Plus I really need to exercise. I was several months into a good exercise program when I hurt my knee and haven’t done much of anything since. So today, I ordered an exercise bike. The bike is about the only thing I can do in which my knee doesn’t lock up. I got one small enough to fit in my den, so I can hop on it anytime I want. Of course I still have the main problem that I had in the first place. Unlike Mike, I don’t have a robot to take care of me.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Now at Sony Ebooks.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is now available for the Sony eReader. You can purchase it directly from you Sony Reading device, or follow this link to the Sony eBookstore.
It is the year 2037, when men are men and robots are cute. Patience, the robot wife, is back, this time mentoring her new friend– Wanda. But even Patience isn’t prepared for what happens when they take a joint vacation cruise to Antarctica. His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is a science fiction story in a world where technology is more than just a pretty face.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Now for Nook!
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is now available at Barnes and Noble for the nook. Look for it directly from your nook reading device, or follow this link.
Overview
It is the year 2037, when men are men and robots are cute. Patience, the robot wife, is back, this time mentoring her new friend– Wanda. But even Patience isn’t prepared for what happens when they take a joint vacation cruise to Antarctica. His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue is a science fiction story in a world where technology is more than just a pretty face.
His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue – Chapter 4 Excerpt
“Now Mike,” said Patience. “You need to be a good friend and let him confide in you.”
“No I don’t. I don’t do that. I don’t do that for anyone.”
“I will make it worth your while.” She gave him a roguish leer. Wanda, watching from the sidelines, opened her mouth in shock.
“Are you trying to bribe me with sex?” asked Mike. “You literally do anything I ask you to do. What could you possibly offer me?”
“Oh, I have been programmed to do things—very, very naughty things—things you have never even dreamed of.”
“Okay, I’m in.”
The robot waitress delivered drinks and breadsticks just as Ryan returned to his seat. He took a deep drink of his beer and then took a breadstick from the basket.
“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until just now.”
“I’m only having one breadstick,” said Mike, taking one from the basket. “I haven’t been able to work out since I hurt my knee and I don’t want to gain back any of the weight I’ve lost.”
Patience kicked him under the table.
“Shit!” He looked at her, and she rolled her eyes.
“Oh, um… would you like to tell us about… you know, things.”
“I don’t want to talk about it in front of the girls.”
“They’re robots,” said Mike, smirking at his wife. “They’re just like the furniture.”
Wanda frowned, but Patience nodded in agreement, her eyes wide with innocence.”
“If I talk about it now, I won’t be able to eat, and I’m looking forward to that chicken marsala.”
“You could go to the gym with me tomorrow and talk…” Mike started.
Patience kicked him again.
“Shit! I forgot I can’t go.” He glared at her. “My leg is in a lot of pain. Why don’t you come over for coffee after we’re done here? We can sit on the deck and talk privately.”
“It won’t be too hot?”
“No. Patience put in an outdoor cooling system in the spring.”
The waitress arrived with their meals and the two men for the most part, ceased their conversation as they ate. Mike was clearly enjoying his steak and pasta. When he reached for another breadstick, Patience grabbed the basket and moved it to the other side of the table.
“Another breadstick?” she asked Ryan.
“Thanks,” he replied, taking one.
Mike looked at her for a moment, an indecipherable expression on his face, but turned back to his meal.
“You don’t mind that Wanda and I don’t eat, do you Ryan?”
“No, but… Wow. I think this is the longest I’ve gone without hearing her talk.”
“Would you prefer her to be quiet and concise all the time?”
“Actually, no. She’s a chatterbox, but I’m kind of getting used to it.”
“Thank you, Ryan,” said Wanda, breaking her relatively long silence.
“We’ll meet you over at our house,” said Mike, when they had finished their meal. He punched in the payment on his phone. “I’ve got this one. You can get the next one.”