Category Archives: ebook

The Two Dragons – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

The Two DragonsA third and a fourth lizzie stepped up onto the platform to be smashed by the stone of Hissussisthiss. The lizardmen in the audience seemed to be enjoying themselves—talking, slapping each other on the shoulder, and bouncing up and down in their seats.

“I think I pieced it together,” said Bratihn. “I’ve been listening to these brutes behind us. The citizens vote on who they want to be down there, and the top five hundred vote-getters are sacrificed. It’s their chance to get rid of their rivals and the neighbors they don’t get along with.”

“Kafira,” muttered Brown. Senta thought that he might be imagining how many of his neighbors would vote for him.

Suddenly her attention was pulled back to the sacrificial boulder. A young female lizardman had just stepped into the place of honor. Senta immediately recognized her as Szim, the lizzie who had served as her tour guide the day before. The giant rock trembled for just a moment. Senta snatched one of the floating glamours from around her head, activating the spell stored within it. She stretched out her right hand just as the boulder began to fall. It stopped in the air a foot above the lizzie’s head.

“Oomph,” Senta grunted. It felt as though three hundred pounds had been dropped on her shoulders. She could hear pandemonium erupt around her as lizardmen all over the arena began hissing and gesturing wildly. She could hear her companions as well.

“What the hell are you doing?” growled Staff.

“You’re going to get us killed,” said Brown.

“Form a cordon,” Bratihn called to the other former soldiers.

The reptilian witch doctor went running across the arena’s open area. He brandished his lizard fetish and cast his own spell, trying to force the rock down. Senta felt sweat break out all over her body. It wasn’t because of this new spell though. It was because of the great weight of the draconic rock, which was far heavier than her telekinesis spell was normally empowered to lift. Compared to the simple physics of gravity, the witch doctor’s spell was a veritable pebble.

When he saw that pushing the rock wasn’t going to work, the lizardman turned toward her waving his lizard lollipop. Two tiny shooting stars sprayed from his talisman. With her free hand, Senta grabbed another glamour, throwing a shield spell around her and her companions. The energy darts ricocheted off into the sky.

“Uuthanum uastus carakathum nit!” she shouted. The witch doctor was engulfed in a pond of mud where a moment before there had only been stone.

“Leave the lizzie!” shouted Staff. “We’ve got to get the hell out of here!”

“Do I tell you how to drive a boat,” said Senta, but her voice was quavering, and her body was starting to shake.

Then she heard the shouting of the Freedonian commander. “Halten sie sie auf!”

One of the wizards, she thought it was Hoff, cast a spell to force the rock down. She took no more notice of it than she had of the witch doctor’s first spell. Neither of them was a match for her. Then Tourbell threw a simple electricity spell at her, a far less potent version of the lightning spell with which she had killed the flock of achillobators. It bounced off of her magical shield. The third wizard, evidently the most powerful of the three, tried the more direct approach. He tried to overpower her mind with a domination spell. Senta grunted as a blinding pain shot through her skull. The dragon stone dropped about six inches, before she caught it again.

“Uuthanum uluchaiia uluthiuth,” she said, sending a ball of flame shooting from the fingers of her left hand. It grew to a size of ten feet in diameter in the short distance between the Brechs and the Freedonians, and burst upon the wizard, igniting him and two non-magical Freedonians. Half a dozen other humans as well as a dozen lizzies who were nearby had small patches of hair, clothing, and skin catch fire.

Senta could see Bratihn in the right corner of her eye brandishing a pistol at someone. The party had not brought their rifles, but he must have kept the handgun concealed. When a lizzie approached too close, he shot it in the face. Other sporadic gunfire echoed around her. She could feel the stone slipping. Her will was not enough to hold it up forever.

“Rezesic edios uuthanum erros paj,” she said, casting the same type of telekinesis spell she was using to hold up the boulder, instead to yank Szim out from under it. The lizzie went flying down onto the floor of the arena. The rock shaped like Hissussisthiss slammed down onto the platform, smashing through it, destroying the copper mechanism below. Then it rolled over on its side into the large puddle of mud now dominating the stadium floor, squashing the witch doctor beneath it.

The Young Sorceress – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

The Young SorceressWissinger waited for almost two hours, but when she stepped out of the doorway, he immediately knew that he had made a mistake. This wasn’t Zurfina—at least it wasn’t the Zurfina he knew. This was a mere girl, and yet she looked like the woman that had twice visited the writer in the ghetto and once more on the S.S. Waif des Vaterlands. And that similarity went beyond the bizarre leather clothing. If she wasn’t Zurfina, she had to be associated with her somehow—her daughter maybe, or her sister.

The girl was accompanied by three men and a boy, who surrounded her like a cordon as she walked through the street. She carried a bulging carpetbag in her hand and Wissinger was bothered that none of her male companions offered to carry it for her. The five of them stepped out onto what passed for a main thoroughfare in St. Ulixes, and Wissinger followed along right behind them.

No sooner had they turned the corner, than there were several loud cracks of rifle fire. Two of the men with the Zurfina girl were shot, the older man though the chest and the younger man wearing a fez, right through the head, spraying both the girl and the boy with blood and brains. Before the two bodies had even fallen, bolts of magical energy shot from down the street at the remainder of the party. More rifle fire followed.

“On the roof!” shouted Wissinger involuntarily when he spotted half a dozen men with rifles on the roof across the street.

The girl raised her hand and a massive ball of flame shot from her toward the riflemen. The entire building on which they were perched exploded. She gave Wissinger a quick glance before turning her attention to the attack coming from down the street.

Human beings and trogs alike fled the area, some diving into open doorways, others simply running for their lives. Walking down the center of the street were three men. Wissinger felt a little thrill of fear as he realized that Von Grieg was one of them. The others were the two Reine Zauberei that he had seen at the train station. They waved their hands and bolts of energy shot from their fingertips. The girl waved her hand and the bright blue balls of magic ricocheted away, crashing into buildings and starting more fires. She waved again and thick black smoke rose from the ground which, added to the smoke from the fires, quickly engulfed the entire street.

“Come here,” she called, and it took Wissinger a few seconds to realize that she was talking to him.

He ran over before the smoke made it completely impossible to see.

“Help them get him off the street.” She pointed to the man who had been shot through the chest, and the writer saw that he was still breathing and awake.

Wissinger took one arm and the boy took the other. They dragged him away as the remaining man fired off his own magical missiles through the smoke in what could only have been the most general direction toward his enemies.

“Come on, Geert!” called the boy. “If we can get him back to the lodge, we have healing draughts for him.”

The young man pushed Wissinger aside and took his place with the wounded man.

“We’ve got him,” he said to the girl. “You need to get out of here.”

“Right,” she replied. “You have fire wards, I trust?”

“Yes,” he said, now thirty feet down the alley. “Good luck.”

The girl grabbed Wissinger by the shoulder. Even though he was several inches taller than her, it seemed as though he was looking up at her. “You stay with me.”

She took three steps back out into the street, stretched her hand out into the smoke filled air, and said “Uuthanum uluchaiia uluthiuth.” Another gigantic ball of fire shot down the street, but this time it ignited the thick black smoke. The buildings burned. The very air burned. It was as close to the Kafirite description of Hell as Wissinger ever wanted to see. He could hear people screaming close by and further up the street.

“Gott in Himmel!” he cried, as what had once been a man, but now was nothing but a torch ran past him. He hoped it was one of the Reine Zauberei. He wouldn’t have wished such a fate on anyone else.

“Come on then,” said the girl. She led him down the alley after the others, but turned down a different direction. “Who the hell are you, anyway?”

“Um, I… I’m a friend… of Zurfina.”

“Huh,” she said with a frown.

“Are you her daughter?”

“Kafira no,” she said. “I’m her apprentice, Senta.”

“I’ve never seen magic like that before.”

“Well, it was no Epic Pestilence, but it was all right.”

The Drache Girl – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

The Drache Girl“I’ve been waiting quite a while for you, sorceress.” He smiled broadly, his thin-lipped mouth seeming abnormally wide across his heavy jaw line.

“I’m not a sorceress. I’m just a little girl and you should leave me alone.”

“Ah, I know that game.” He pulled the horn-rimmed spectacles from his upturned nose and wiped first his eyes and then the lenses with a handkerchief, replacing the glasses on his face and the handkerchief in his pocket. “You make three statements. One is true and the other two are lies. Then I have to guess which is true. Right? Then I will have to say, you are a little girl.”

Senta crossed her arms and rocked back onto the heels of her shoes.

“My turn,” said the wizard. “My name is Smedley Bassington. I was born in Natine, Mirsanna. I know nothing about magic.”

“That’s too easy,” said Senta. “Smedley.”

“You should say Mr. Bassington. After all, I am your elder. One mustn’t be rude.”

“Okay, this one is harder,” replied Senta. “I’m going to have to say, number two, you are my elder.”

Bassington took a step forward, and then another.

“Uuthanum,” said Senta, waving her hand.

“Uuthanum,” said Bassington, waving his hand in an almost identical motion.

It might have seemed as though the two were exchanging some kind of secret greeting. In actuality, Senta had cast an invisible protective barrier between them. Bassington had dispelled the magic, destroying the barrier.

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, the chosen apprentice of the most powerful sorceress in the world. That is, after I found out Zurfina was here. I had no idea where she had gotten to. Here I was, checking out that idiot and his machine, and instead I find the two of you.”

“I think that’s too many statements,” said Senta.

He stopped in the middle of the road about five feet away from her. A little wisp of wind whipped his short graying hair.

“Did she leave you here alone to take care of yourself? That’s just what she does, you know? She’s totally unreliable.”

“Are you allowed to use questions?” asked Senta, thinking to herself that this wizard did indeed seem to have her guardian pegged.

“Let’s not play that game,” said Bassington. “Let’s play something a little better suited to our unique abilities.”

He held out his hand, waist high, palm down and said. “Maiius Uuthanum nejor.”

Red smoke rose up from the ground just below his hand. It swirled and coalesced into a shape. The shape became a wolf. Its red eyes seemed to glow and the hair on its back and shoulders stood up as it bared its dripping fangs and snarled at Senta. She held out her own hand, palm pointed down.

“Maiius Uuthanum,” she said.

Green smoke rose from the ground below her hand, swirling around in a little cloud, finally billowing away to reveal a velociraptor with bright green and red feathers.

“A bird?” said Bassington, derisively.

The wolf lunged forward, snapping its teeth. The velociraptor clamped its long jaw shut on the wolf’s snout, and grasped its head in its front claws. The huge curved claw on the velociraptor’s hind foot slid down the canine’s belly, slicing it open and spilling steaming entrails out onto the gravel. A moment later, in a swirl of multihued smoke, both creatures disappeared again.

“Prestus Uuthanum,” said Bassington, placing his right palm on his chest, and casting a spell of protection on his own body.

“Uuthanum uusteros pestor,” said Senta, spreading her arms out wide. She seemed to split down the center as she stepped both right and left at the same time. Where there had been one twelve-year-old girl a moment ago, there were now four twelve year old girls who looked exactly the same.

The wizard waved his hand and said. “Ariana Uuthanum sembor.” All four Sentas found themselves stuck in a mass of giant, sticky spider webs.

One of the blond girls fell down. One of them pulled vainly at the webbing. The third picked up a rock from the ground and threw it with all of her might at Bassington hitting him just above the temple. The fourth waved her hand, saying the magic word “uuthanum”, and dispelling the webs. The girl who had pulled at the webbing helped the fallen girl stand up, and then the two of them merged together. The other two girls merged into her, and once again, there was only one Senta.

“Uuthanum uusteros vadia,” said Bassington and he disappeared.

Senta stood there for a moment, and then out of the corner of her eye, she saw several pieces of gravel shift on the ground to her left. She pointed her finger in the direction.

“Uuthanum Regnum,” she said.

A ray of colorful, sparkling light sprayed from her fingertip in the direction she pointed. Bassington cried out in surprise and reappeared, though he didn’t seem to suffer any ill effects of the spell, which usually left its victims covered in painful rashes.

“Erros Uuthanum tijiia,” he said.

A huge spectral hand, more than five feet across, appeared in the air in front of Senta. The middle finger was bent back beneath the thumb, and then flicked Senta in the chest. She fell backwards onto her bottom, crunching her bustle, and sliding several feet across the gravel road. She struggled to suck in a breath.

“Time to say ‘uncle’, don’t you think?” Bassington crossed his arms.

Senta tilted her head back and at last managed to pull some air into her lungs. The wizard waited.

“Well?” he said, finally.

“The sky is purple,” said Senta. “My dress is orange, and my dragon is going to bite your head off.”

Bassington stared for only a moment at Senta’s blue dress, before diving out of the way, just as Bessemer landed with a huge whomp right where he had been standing.

“Maiius Uuthanum nejor paj!” shouted Bassington, pointing toward the dragon, and then turned and ran north up the road as fast as he could.

Red smoke erupted just in front of Bessemer. As it dissipated, it revealed a huge shaggy man-like creature, covered in white hair and more than seven feet tall. Senta had never seen a gharhast ape before except in books, but she recognized one now that she saw it. The ape bared a set of incredibly long fangs, and yelling out a tremendous roar, jumped onto the dragon. Two very human looking hands grabbed the dragon around the neck as the ape attempted to dig its fangs into Bessemer’s neck. The steel colored scales remained impenetrable, though a startled look was visible in the dragon’s eyes.

The Dark and Forbidding Land – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

The Voyage of the MinotaurNoticing that Finkler’s Bakery was open, Senta started across the square toward it. She wasn’t hungry, having just finished tea, but was interested to see what service at Port Dechantagne’s first eating establishment looked like. Halfway there she suddenly stumbled, sprawling across the gravel, wet and muddy with melted snow and scratchy with rock salt and jagged pebbles. Looking toward her feet, she spied a large rock that had obviously been the cause of her tumble. But how could she have missed it? Looking toward the pfennig store, she saw Streck laughing heartily. Jumping to her feet, she aimed a spell at him.

“Uuthanum,” she said, and six or seven gallons of water appeared in the air above the Freedonian’s head, dousing him.

Senta could see him mouthing the magic word even though she couldn’t hear it. Her feet flew out from beneath her, plopping her onto her bottom in the wet gravel. She fired right back, causing the pfennig store door to fly open, smacking Streck in the back of the head. With a shout in Freedonian that was no doubt profane, he made half a dozen determined strides toward her before remembering himself and coming to a stop in the middle of the square.

“Why don’t you shoot a lightning bolt?” he called to her. “Or perhaps a fireball?”

“I don’t want to burn down Mr. Parnorsham’s store.”

He sneered, then raised both hands toward her and said. “Talik Uuthanum.”

It was the first magic above the most basic cantrip that Senta had seen him do, and because the spell was an unfamiliar one, she didn’t know what to expect.

“Prestus Uuthanum,” she said, throwing a shield up around herself. She felt the magic bounce off and she saw Streck’s eyes widen. She mentally flipped through the spells with which she could counter-attack, but she didn’t use any of them. She waited to see what he would do. He stared at her for a moment, and then turning on his heel, he strode swiftly from the Town Square.

“Too right,” she called after him. “And don’t come back.”

Brushing off her coat, Senta turned to see about twenty people watching her from in front of the bakery. Their expressions were not difficult to read. There was concern, curiosity, and yes there was definitely fear. Some turned and went about their business, but most continued to watch her as she slowly crossed the square toward them.

“How’s the food?” she asked, when she was just a few steps away.

“It is of course, excellent,” said Aalwijn Finkler, stepping forward from the back of the group. “Would you like me to wrap up a couple of sandwiches and some soup for you to take home for dinner?”

“Um, I don’t have any money.”

“I will be happy to extend you credit.”

“Alright then.”

Senta waited outside the bakery, half watching to see if Streck would return. By the time Aalwijn came out with a small box loaded with wrapped packages of food, most of the gawkers were gone.

“I added a nice large piece of strudel—my gift for anyone who fights the Reine Zauberei.”

“So you know about them, eh?”

“There has been much talk of them and of him, among the Zaeri colonists.”

“Well, don’t get your corset in a twist. He’s just a wanker.”

The Voyage of the Minotaur – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

The Voyage of the Minotaur“Hello beautiful ladies,” said an accented voice from the east side of the stream.

Senta and Zurfina both looked up to see Suvir Kesi standing beneath a large pine. He wore his usual bright blue clothes and yellow fez with a blue tassel on top. He held his right hand straight out and dangled an 8 ½ x 11 inch sheet of paper.

“Uuthanum,” he said, and the paper burst in flame from the bottom, burning upwards as if it had been soaked in lamp oil.

“What the hell was that supposed to be?” asked the sorceress.

“A bit of mathematics,” Kesi giggled. “A result of the mechanism, you might say.”

“Silly thing to die over,” said Zurfina, “Uuthanum.”

She pointed to him with her right index finger, but nothing happened.

“Uuthanum uluchaiia uluthiuth!” shouted Kesi, raising both hands, and pressing them together, palms up.

A sphere of flame formed as he pulled his palms apart. Only two inches across, it surged and swirled there for a second, then shot toward the sorceress. In the thirty feet or so between the two of them, the ball of flame grew until when it hit Zurfina, it was six feet across. It exploded into a huge flash, knocking Senta away and into the water. When she looked back, she saw Zurfina completely on fire, her clothing and even her hair in flames. She too fell into the water, in a cloud of steam and smoke. Kesi let out another shrill laugh.

Senta couldn’t believe it, but Zurfina climbed back to her feet. Most of the black leather pants and leather corset she was wearing were gone, as was most of her blond hair. Her skin was scorched and when she moved, it cracked hideously. She pointed her finger again at Kesi.

“Uuthanum uastus corakathum paj,” she hissed. Again nothing happened.

“Bechnoth uuthanum pestor paj,” said Kesi, stretching out his hand.

A cone of cold, like the simple spell that Senta had learned her first day with Zurfina, but much larger and more powerful sprang from the wizard’s hand. The frosty air cut through the space between the two spellcasters, centering on Zurfina. In seconds, frost formed to cover her entire body, even freezing the stream for ten feet or more around her.

Senta let out a shriek and ran for the protection of the nearest tree on the opposite side of the river from where Kesi stood. She ducked behind a redwood three feet in diameter and dropped to her knees.

“Don’t go far!” called Kesi. “I have something I need to show you!”

It wasn’t the wizard, but a crashing sound that made Senta look around the tree. Just as she had suspected, Zurfina had broken out of the icy prison, melting the frost on her body and the ice in the stream. Senta had always thought that Zurfina could not be harmed by magic, but now the sorceress looked very unsteady. She reached up and snatched something out of the air near her face and threw the invisible object at Suvir Kesi. Whatever it was must have hit near him, because from out of the ground around his feet sprang a dozen black tentacles, each more than ten feet long. They immediately began grappling with the man. Zurfina dropped backwards into a sitting position in the chilly water.

Senta watched as Kesi pulled out a large curved dagger and began to hack at the tentacles, which wrapped themselves around his legs, arms, and neck. There was a real look of panic in his face, but after a moment, he began cutting more of the slippery black tentacles than grew to replace the ones lost. A look of triumph came over him and he slashed with renewed vigor until the last of the squiggly conjurations were gone. Throughout it all, Zurfina sat unmoving, the six-inch deep water flowing around her.

“Nothing to say?” asked Kesi, looking down at the sorceress. “Power all gone? I don’t think so. You still look a little feisty to me.”

“Uuthanum rechthinov uluchaiia,” he said.

Even as he did so, the sorceress grabbed another of the glamours floating around her head and threw it. It looked as though it took all her energy to do so. A bolt of lightning shot from Kesi’s hand directly at her. But a misty form, shaped like the spectral hand of some ghostly giant appeared out of nowhere, palm raised up like that of a police constable directing traffic, and the lightning bolt ricocheted away at a sharp angle.

“That was it, wasn’t it?” said the wizard. “Now you’re done. Thank goodness for that mechanical contraption. Without it, I never would have been able to formulate a spell powerful enough to counter magic that, well let’s be honest, is normally greater than mine by a factor of four.”

Brechalon – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

BrechalonZurfina had her ticket on the B511 out of Brech to Flander on the southern coast, where she had already arranged to meet a boat that would take her to a ship bound for Mirsanna. There was no way that she could stay in Brechalon any longer. The government had refused to accept her independence. They would have her join the military or they would see her destroyed. They had already sent a dozen wizards and two sorcerers against her. But Zurfina was the greatest practitioner of sorcery in the Kingdom and was more than a match for any wizard.

A man in a brown suit stepped out from behind a pillar. To the other people in the station, he seemed nothing out of the ordinary, but to Zurfina he glowed bright yellow and was surrounded by a sparkling halo. She didn’t wait for him to cast a spell. She pointed her hand toward him and spat out an incantation.

“Intior uuthanum err.”

Immediately the man doubled over, wracked with uncontrollable cackling laughter. But before Zurfina could smile appreciatively, she was thrown from her feet as the world around her exploded in flames. She had been hit in the back by a fireball, and only the fact that she had previously shielded herself prevented her from becoming a human candle, as four or five innocent bystanders around her now did. Rolling to her feet and turning around, she found that she faced not one, but four wizards. The one who had evidently cast the fireball was preparing another spell, while the other three were casting their own. Her shield protected her from the lightning bolt, and the attempt to charm her, but one of the four magic missiles hit her, burning her shoulder as though it had been dipped in lava.

“Uuthanum uastus corakathum paj—Prestus Uuthanum.” Zurfina ducked into a side alcove as one of the wizards turned to stone and her own shield was replenished. Several more magical bolts struck the stone wall across from her, creating small burnt holes. Peering quickly around the corner, she saw the four wizards just where she left them, the three trying to use their petrified comrade as cover. Looking in the other direction, she saw that the wizard cursed with laughter had recovered and he had been joined by two more.

Seven wizards—well, six. That was a lot of magical firepower. But then Zurfina looked across the station platform. Directly opposite her was the open door of a train; not the B511, but a train bound for somewhere else. If she could reach it, she could get away. She glanced quickly around the corner again. The smell of burnt bodies mixed with thick black smoke in the air, but though there was plenty of the former, there was not enough of the latter for Zurfina’s taste.

“Uuthanum,” she said, and a thick fog began to fill the station platform.

“Maiius uuthanum nejor paj.” The three wizards to her right suddenly faced a dog the size of a draft horse, snarling and foaming at the mouth, and they felt their spells were better aimed at it than any blond sorceress.

Turning to her left, Zurfina cast another spell. “Uuthanum uastus carakathum nit.”

The cement that formed the other end of the platform turned to mud. The petrified wizard, deprived of his secure foundation toppled over onto one of his comrades, crushing him, while the other two struggled to pull themselves from the muck. Zurfina shot out of the alcove and ran toward the train. She had almost made it, when Wizard Bassington stepped into the open doorway in front of her.

She stopped right there in the open, unbalanced, unsure now whether to run left or right or back the way that she had come. She felt uncomfortably like an animal caught on the road in the headlamps of an oncoming steam carriage. Bassington didn’t move. He stared at her with his beady eyes. His eyes went wide though when Zurfina reached up to snatch something out of the air. Normal, non-magical people couldn’t see them, but he could—the glamours that orbited her head were spells cast earlier, awaiting the moment when she needed them.

She crushed the glamour and pointed her hand at the spot where Bassington stood, just as he dived away. The entryway where the wizard had been, and the passenger coaches on either side of him exploded, lifting much of the train up off the track as metal and wood shrapnel and human body parts flew in every direction. The flash knocked Zurfina herself back onto the cement and sent her sliding across the pavement and into the far wall. Before she could get up, she was hit with a dozen bolts of magical fire, some but not all of them deflected by her magic shield. It was a spell of weakening, followed by one of sleep though that finally dropped her head unconscious to the ground. The last thing she saw was Bassington’s hobnail boots walking toward her.

His Robot Girlfriend: Charity – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

HRG Charity“Are you thinking of moving to Big Bear City?” asked Mindy.

“It’s a great place to live,” said Tag.

“They have nice parks and excellent schools,” said one of the girls, marking the first time that Dakota had heard either one of them speak more than a single word.

“Oh, do you go to school?”

“Of course not,” said Stephen.

“The children are homeschooled,” said Mindy.

“Of course. No, I don’t think we’ll be staying.”

“Dakota needs to find a position in which he can reach his potential,” said Charity.

“Yes, and I need a job too,” he said, smiling at his own joke.

“Sometimes they hire threaders at the Sherriff’s Department,” said Stephen. “I could check an see if there are any openings.”

“I’ll let you know.”

When they finished eating, the robots all retired into the house, leaving the two men on the deck.

“Great meal,” said Dakota.

“Yeah, thanks. So, I think this is as good a time as any to talk. What’s going on with you?”

“There’s really not much to tell. I was living with this girl. I thought it was true love, but I caught her cheating on me, so I left. I was pissed, so I took a bunch of her stuff and donated it to GoodWorks.”

“Illegal,” said Stephen, nodding. “But at least you didn’t shoot them. I’d say she deserved it. Use the account I gave you and in a few days, she’ll give up looking for you, I would think.”

“Probably.”

“So how’s your mother?” asked Stephen.

“Dead.”

“When?”

“Four months ago. She’d been in a home for the past five years. She had Alzheimer’s. For the last two years she didn’t even remember who I was.”

“Shit. That’s really tough. I’m sorry. Those places are expensive. If you had let me know, I could have helped pay for part of it.”

“She was my mother. Her social security and her pension paid for about half.”

“She actually treated me very well,” said Stephen. “I didn’t appreciate it at the time. First I was so unhappy because I had lost my own mother. Then I was upset because Nora drove my father away.”

“You’re fucking kidding me. She didn’t drive him away any more than your mother drove him away. He ran away—chasing a fucking skirt. He was a worthless piece of shit that never did anything for anybody and the only two things he left us were his genes and the inability to maintain a relationship.”

“That’s not true. He was a good man. He was a good father. I remember him before he left Mom. We had fun. He took me to the see the Angels. He took me to Knott’s. He built me a swing set.”

“Yeah, well I guess I just got shit on then, because I didn’t get any of those things.”

Stephen was quiet for a minute.

“Yes, I guess you didn’t get what I got. He was different after he left Mom. That doesn’t mean we can’t… what you said—maintain relationships.”

“It must mean that. Look at you. You have a robot wife and robot kids.”

“I… well, I never really wanted kids. They just grow up and disappoint you. As for Mindy… well, it’s just easier.”

“Easier than a relationship with a real person,” said Dakota. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Being married to a real person is work. Even living with another person is real work. Did you even have a serious girlfriend before you custom ordered a lover?”

“Yes, I had a few girlfriends… but none of them were long-lasting. Yes, I suppose you’re right. So, I’m messed up. But I’m thirty-nine years old. I can’t lay all of that at Dad’s feet, or Mom’s or Nora’s either. When you reach my age, you have to take responsibility for your own faults.”

“Well, I still haven’t reached that age yet.”

His Robot Girlfriend: Charity – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

HRG Charity“Who is it, dear?” called a woman’s voice, as a sylph-like figure danced out of a back doorway.

“Visitors. They’re going to be staying a couple of days.”

“How exciting,” she said, hurrying forward. “We never have overnight company.”

She was within arm’s reach before Dakota realized that she was a robot. Tall and thin, with short blond hair and blue eyes, she was dressed in a yellow sundress.

“This is my wife, Mindy,” said Stephen.

“You’re kidding,” said Dakota.

“No, I’m not fucking kidding! She means a lot to me—a hell of a lot more than you do!”

“Shh,” said Mindy. “You’ll wake the children, dear.”

“Mindy, please show them to the guest room.” Stephen looked at Dakota. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I have to get ready for work.”

Mindy smiled at Dakota and then locked eyes with Charity. They both froze for a split second. Then she beckoned them after her, as she walked like a game show spokes-model to the rear of the room. Exiting through a doorway took them from a small living room down a long hall.

“That’s Tag’s room on the left” said Mindy. The one just past it is the guest room. Stephen and I are at the very end of the hall, and the twins are across from you. I’ll try to remind them not to bother you, but they haven’t had much experience with visitors.”

“That’s fine,” said Dakota. “I don’t exactly know how to ask… how old are the children?”

“Tag is thirteen. The twins are eight.”

The guest room was small but neat, with a double bed covered by a crocheted comforter and with a large painting of a cat on the wall.

“You can used the bathroom across the hall,” said Mindy. “Clean towels are in the rack just inside the door. If you need anything else, let me know.”

She left, closing the door behind her.

“It’s like some sort of domestic Twilight Zone,” said Dakota.

“She seemed nice,” said Charity. “Remember what I told you about Daffodil Amontes? About them making excellent wives?”

“She seems like a robot. I mean, even if she wasn’t a robot, she’d seem like a robot. And since Stephen didn’t have any kids when I saw him last, I’m really interested to get a look at them.”

“You should get some sleep,” she said, peeling the bedding back for him. “I can stand quietly in the corner, or if you’d prefer, I could stand in the closet.”

“Why don’t you just lie down over there?” He pointed to the left side of the bed.

If the truth were known, Dakota actually preferred sleeping with someone else. He had been doing it for more than four years now. Rachel had insisted that they not get a bed larger than a standard double. He had complained, saying that there wasn’t enough room for him to turn over. Now he had missed it for three nights. Sleeping with the robot was not quite the same. She didn’t feel plastic; her skin was as soft and supple as a real woman’s would have been. She was hotter than a real person though, at least in some places. In others, she was cooler. But if he just lay there—if he didn’t touch her and feel the differences in temperature, and her shape, then it was almost like sleeping with Rachel.

She was gone when he woke up. When he climbed out of bed, he found his suitcase on the floor by the door. Pulling out a clean set of clothes, he crossed the hallway and took a hot shower. When he was done, he brushed his teeth and then ran his hand through four days of whiskers. He would have to either buy a razor or learn to live with a beard.

In the front of the house, Dakota found the dining room. Charity was sitting at the table with three children. They were just as mechanical as she was. The boy looked enough like Stephen to be his real son, but he wasn’t. He was a robot. The two eight-year-old girls looked like their mother, with similar bright yellow dresses. All four of them sat with nothing but water bottles in front of them.

“Sit here,” said Charity, vacating her chair for him. “Mindy has made you some waffles.”

At the sound of her name, Mindy danced out of the kitchen, holding a plate of waffles high in one hand and a bottle of syrup in the other. She sat them directly in front of Dakota and pirouetted away.

“Do you prefer coffee or milk?”

“I’ll take a Coke if you’ve got one.”

“Here’s a glass of milk. We don’t keep sodas in the house.” She sat a tall glass of milk in front of him. “Say hello, children.”

“Hello,” they all said primly and in unison.

His Robot Girlfriend: Charity – Excerpt

Posted on by
Reply

HRG CharityThe sun was really beating down when Dakota Hawk pulled his pickup to a stop next to the metal cargo container that GoodWorks was using as the drop location from which to collect donations of clothing, furniture, and electronics. When he climbed out of the cab, his foot slid in the half molten asphalt. The poor bastard, who was earning a dollar less than minimum wage to sit in the heat and collect the donations, stepped out from the container’s interior, dripping sweat, his hair plastered to his forehead.

“Back again? What are you trying to do, get rid of everything?”

“As much as possible,” said Dakota. “Do you have water in there? Maybe a fan?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve got a nifty little setup. Come in and look.”

The air outside was well over 140 degrees Fahrenheit, and it was just as hot inside. It was even more oven-like. The back third of the container was filled with cardboard boxes and plastic trash bags full of who-knows-what. Along the left side were a few pieces of larger furniture. Along the right hand wall were a dozen non-animated robots—a couple with clothes, but most naked. Just inside the entrance sat a chaise lounge next to a mini-refrigerator with an electric fan sitting atop it. A long orange cord ran out the door, across the parking lot, and was plugged into the back of McDonalds.

“Sweet,” said Dakota, and then he turned back to his truck and began unloading the black bags filled with clothing and household goods. He handed them to the guy, who then stacked them in back. By the time they were done, his own long, blond hair was plastered to his face.

“Mostly clothes, feels like.”

“Yes, mostly clothes.”

Dakota had spent all morning trying to empty out the apartment. The first hour had been taken up getting his own things. He had packed up his vueTee and his other electronics, and then his clothes. That had filled up the back of the truck, leaving just enough room for the two crappy chairs his dad had given him. He’d taken it all to the Jiffy Locker and rented a storeroom, their smallest size. After unloading, he had made one final sweep through the apartment, taking whatever was left that he wanted—nothing more than a few photographs and mementos. Then he had spent the next five hours hauling as many of Rachel’s belongings away as possible and donating them to GoodWorks. He realized he could be charged with theft, but he didn’t care. Her closet was empty, her wriTee and all her files were gone, she had no pots and pans and no fine silverware, her underwear drawer was empty, and her grandmother’s Depression era glassware collection was history. He looked at his watch. There wasn’t time to make another trip before she got off work.

He looked back into the cargo container.

“Say, what are you going to do with these old robots?” Dakota asked.

“They have a group that recycles them for parts. Most of them are Gizmos, and you can’t really fix them anymore.”

Dakota looked them over. They were mostly Gizmos, but not all. He recognized a Braun… and something else. A naked female robot, waist bent at an anatomically impossible angle stared at the wall. A curtain of long brown hair was brushed aside just enough for Dakota to make out three small holes in the back of the neck, and beneath them, a button.

“How much do you suppose they’ll get for them?”

“Oh, a few hundred each, I suppose. Most of them don’t work at all.”

“Could I buy one?”

“We don’t sell them to the public.”

“Seems a shame,” Dakota said. “I’d give you $500 for that one there, right now.”

“Well, we don’t even know if it works.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about it. Cash deal. No exchanges or refunds.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed in $500, waving it back and forth in front of the guy’s eyes.

The guy reached into his own pocket for his phone.

“You can’t tell anyone about this,” he said. “You know, because they don’t want us selling them.”

He pressed his phone to Dakota’s; transferring the $500 into what they both knew was the guy’s personal account.

“Nobody’s going to hear anything about it from me. Help me load it?”

My Writing – Part 8

Posted on by
Reply

Desperate CoverDesperate Poems

I had written a thousand poems when I was in my teens. Over the years, I had sporadically written more poetry. I decided the time was right to publish them in ebook form. Of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to pay for my poetry, so it would be a free offering. I had already collected a pretty good cross section of my poems, so I just formatted it all together, and sent it out into cyberspace. I tried out about a thousand titles for the volume, before I finally settled on Desperate Poems.

Astrid Maxxim and the Antarctic Expedition

When I wrote Astrid Maxxim and her Undersea Dome, I had simply continued on at the end until I ran out of steam. When I stopped, I had the first four or five chapters of a third Astrid Maxxim book. The book would take Astrid to Antarctica. Then I went off and wrote Patience is a Virtue, taking the characters there to the Antarctic too.

When I finally got back to Astrid, I decided that I would include global warming as part of the plot. I already had an element from the first book that would tie into the South Pole. I needed some danger in the story, so I read up on some real life events concerning Antarctic wildlife and fictionalized them. I had written a much looser outline than usual, and when I was halfway through the book, I suddenly realized that my chapters were too long. I wanted some uniformity with the other books of the series. So, I went back and split chapters up, but I still ended up slightly off.

Astrid Maxxim and her Hypersonic Space Plane

I was really into the Astrid Maxxim mode when I finished writing Antarctic Expedition. In fact, I feel like I didn’t really hit my stride in that book until I was finishing it up. I immediately started on the next book. This is really the one in which the main character starts to grow up. She was already one part Tom Swift and one part Walt Disney. Now she started becoming a little bit Steve Jobs. She was becoming a genius with a bit of an edge.

Once again I hired Matthew Riggenback at Shaed Studios to do the covers and I had him design them for books three, four, and five. Just as I had before, I continued writing past the end of Astrid Maxxim and her Hypersonic Space Plane, creating the first few chapters of the next book before setting it down to do something else. This was the beginning of Astrid Maxxim and the Electric Racecar Challenge. In the meantime, I think that Astrid Maxxim and her Hypersonic Space Plane is the best in the series so far.

His Robot Wife: Charity

I have noticed (and others have as well) that I tend to write about similar things in different stories. I wrote two stories set in Antarctica, relatively close together. I had very similar conversations in The Drache Girl and Tesla’s Stepdaughters—different topics, but a similar format. I was working on a (as yet unpublished) story involving a cheating spouse. This was still on my mind when I came up with a plot for a new robot book. For the first time a robot story came to me in a sort of natural way, like other stories. For that reason, I think it’s the best of the four robot books.

Because of the plot, I needed entirely new characters for this story. I tied it in with the other books by placing it in the same setting and then I had some of the characters from the earlier books—Mike and Ryan—appear in this one as well. Ryan has gone from being a car salesman to a realtor. Happily I was able to take some of the threads from this book and weave them into the next His Robot Wife book.