Brechalon – Chapter Eight Part One

Brechalon (New Cover)“What do you have there?” asked Zeah.

“It’s magic glass,” replied Saba, holding up a small square of very dark but very shiny material.

“This conversation sounds like the beginning of a fairy tale. Did you trade your magic beans to get this magic glass?”

“Don’t be silly Mr. Korlann. I didn’t have any magic beans and this cost me 75P.”

“Good heavens. Why would you pay 75 pfennigs for that?”

“For the eclipse.”

“Eclipse?”

“Sure. There’s an eclipse today. Almost a full one. If we were in the channel it would be full. It would get dark in the middle of the day.”

“Oh yes, yes. It was in the paper. I imagine it will be spectacular enough right here in Brech City. But what is the glass for?”

“Haven’t you ever heard that you shouldn’t stare at an eclipse because you’ll go blind?”

“Of course.”

“I can’t tell you how much that has worried me since I found that out,” said Saba. “I’m always afraid that I might accidentally look at the sun and it would be just my luck that there was an eclipse going on right then and I would go blind.”

“Well, first off, there’s nothing special about an eclipse that is worse on your eyes. Stare at the sun anytime, eclipse or no, and you risk damage to your…”

“Anyway,” the boy interrupted. “I got this glass so I can watch the eclipse. You can stare at it all day through this and not get blinded. Can’t see a bloody thing through it now though.” He tried to look at the head butler through the small pane held to his right eye.

“Let’s hope it really works,” said Zeah skeptically. “I trust you bought it from a reputable dealer.”

“Sure. I got it at the potion shop on Avenue Phoenix. They’re selling loads of them. If it doesn’t work, they’ll be hip deep in angry blind people.”

 

* * * * *

 

“It’s almost time now, Pet,” said Zurfina looking at the sun, through the tiny window high up on the wall.

Nils Chapman was crawling on his knees next to her. Shaking and twitching uncontrollably, he no longer had the ability to stand on his own. This didn’t bother him because he no longer had the ability to think on his own either. He crawled along on all fours drooling like a dog to the center of the cell.

Zurfina peeled off the filthy rags that had been her only clothing since she had been brought to this hellhole one thousand nine hundred eighty-four days before. She tossed them aside and sat down cross-legged in the center of the cell. Chapman pressed against her, but she pushed him away. Closing her eyes, she began to chant.

“Uuthanum, uuthanum, uuthanum, uuthanum.” She repeated the word over and over again. Twenty times. A hundred times. Slowly the room became darker and darker. She continued to chant. The eclipse was at his height.

Chapman screamed. Zurfina opened her eyes and smiled. The four walls were walls no more. They were shining, rippling, silvery surfaces like the surface of frighteningly cold and deep water. Sounds could be heard from the other side—freakish, awful piping noises that tugged at one’s sanity. Then the surface directly in front of her bubbled and churned, touched by something on the other side of that boundary between the cell and the abyss beyond.

“Yes!” Zurfina screamed. Then she began reciting a new set of words. “Uuathanum eetarri. Uuthanum eetarri. Uuthanum blechtore. Uuthanum blechtore. Uuthanum maiius.”

His Robot Girlfriend Reviewed in Spanish at librosketch

Senta and the Steel Dragons – Magic Duels

One of my favorite parts of Senta and the Steel Dragon are the magic duels.  There are many situations when magic is used against someone not magical, but duels between magic users are particularly cool.

Spoiler Alert: I’m not trying to give any spoilers, but there might be some, so be warned.

Book 0: Brechalon

In Brechalon, there is an actual magic battle between the sorceress Zurfina and no less than five wizards.  Since Zurfina starts the series as the most powerful magic wielder in the world, you can imagine that this would be a pretty good fight.

Book 1: The Voyage of the Minotaur

In this book, Zurfina has a duel with Wizard Suvir Kesi.  He ambushes her with a mechanically produced spell that zaps her magic away before he starts, but then he perhaps doesn’t know that she has spells stored that she doesn’t need additional magic to activate.  The biggest use of magic in the book though happens elsewhere.

Book 2: The Dark and Forbidding Land

Sorceresses apprentice Senta has a duel with washed out wizard-in-training Streck.  Since neither of them is particularly powerful, this is a fairly light-hearted contest.

Book 3: The Drache Girl

In this book Senta has her second magic duel, this time with Master Wizard Bassington.  Though she has gained a great deal of power since the previous book, it’s a big difference between facing a failed apprentice and a fully-powered wizard.  This is one of my favorites though, so I’m going to post an excerpt soon.

Book 4: The Young Sorceress

There are a couple of notable magic battles in this book.  The biggest is Senta and a group of Brech wizards against a group of Freedonian wizards backed by riflemen.  My favorite though is Senta verses a Lizzie witch doctor.

Book 5: The Two Dragons

Again, there are a couple of magic vs. magic battles in this book, and again, they aren’t the biggest uses of magic.  There is Zurfina vs. a dragon.  Then there’s Senta, a dragon, and a wizard verses a dragon– what do you know, two dragons.  My favorite magic duel in this book though is Senta facing off against three Freedonian Journeyman Wizards and a Lizzie Witch Doctor.

I think I’ll post an excerpt of it soon too.  Then again, maybe I’ll post a whole series of magic duel excerpts.

The Dark and Forbidding Land – Update Ebook

The Dark and Forbidding Land (New Cover)Having just announced yesterday a new and improved version of The Voyage of the Minotaur, I’m following that up today with a new version of The Dark and Forbidding Land.  There were far fewer errors corrected in this book than the previous one, but by the time I die, I plan to have found them all.

Just as with the other book, if you have previously purchased The Dark and Forbidding Land, you should be able to download the latest edition from your ebookstore. If you haven’t yet tried out the Senta and the Steel Dragon Series, I invite you to do so.

You can read Brechalon right here, or download it free from Smashwords, then get The Voyage of the Minotaur and The Dark and Forbidding Land, wherever fine ebooks are sold.

The Voyage of the Minotaur – Updated Ebook

I’ve just uploaded a new and revised (oxymoron, isn’t it) edition of The Voyage of the Minotaur.  Mostly the changes consist of correcting the incorrect use of the word “which” when it should have been “that”, and vice-versa.

In any case, if you have previously purchased The Voyage of the Minotaur, you should be able to download the latest edition from your ebookstore.  If you haven’t yet tried out the Senta and the Steel Dragon Series, I invite you to do so.

You can read Brechalon right here, or download it free from Smashwords, then get The Voyage of the Minotaur, wherever fine ebooks are sold.

First Work vs. Prequel

Brechalon (New Cover)I struggle with whether to tell people to read Breachalon (Book 0 in Senta and the Steel Dragon) before or after reading books 1-5.  Brechalon is an actual prequel.  It is book 0 in the series, but I didn’t write it until I had already written books 1, 3, and 5.  Therefore I had to think very carefully about what I wanted to reveal.  Some of the plot points from book 0 are surprises that happen later in the series.  Other elements have more impact if the reader has read the rest of the series before reading book 0.

An example of the former is Zurfina in prison.  In the rest of the books, we don’t hear about Zurfina being imprisoned until book 5 nearing the end of the original series.  It explains a great deal about her character, but not revealing it until book 5 made it a huge revelation.  By revealing it in book 0, it detracts from that a bit, even though I like the story line with her in prison in Brechalon.

An example of the latter is Zurfina’s nickname for Senta.  Beginning in book 1 and right through the entire series, Zurfina seldom if ever refers to Senta by her name.  Instead, she calls her “Pet.”  It seems on the surface a sweet nickname for your child and it stands in the face of some of Zurfina’s careless actions as far as child-rearing goes.  You can say, well, you know she loves Senta.  She calls her Pet.  Then in book 0, you find Zurfina calling Chapman the same name– this a man she has no feelings for and actually plans to destroy and maybe use as a sacrifice.  It kind of has a chilling effect when you then hear her giving this eight-year-old child the same nickname.

Brechalon – Chapter Seven Part Three

Brechalon (New Cover)“I make a hundred and fifty feet,” said Lieutenant Arthur McTeague, without taking his eyes from the binoculars.

“Decrease elevation two degrees,” called Lieutenant Augie Dechantagne.

“Ready!” called Corporal Worthy from the centermost 105mm howitzer.

“Fire!” There was a long pause and then a distant explosion.

“Oops. You’re long,” said McTeague. “I mean, longer.”

“Kafira damn it!” yelled Augie. “I said decrease elevation! Decrease!”

“Sorry sir! Ready sir!”

“Fire!”

“On target,” said McTeague, after the wait.

“Lay down a pattern of fire!” The five guns began rapidly firing, only to be immediately reloaded and fired again.

McTeague lowered his binoculars and pulled his earplugs from his pocket. Stuffing them into his ears, he walked over to stand next to Augie.

“Why are we shelling this village again?”

“I didn’t ask,” Augie replied.

“Do you suppose they’re going to counter-attack?”

“It’s not my job to worry about it. It’s theirs.” Augie pointed to the line of Royal Marines, their red coats and white pith helmets clearly visible halfway between the guns and the lizzie village that was rapidly becoming a flaming hell.

“Well, I suppose they needed to be taught a lesson. Put the fear of God and his Majesty into them.”

“This will certainly teach them something,” said Augie.

 

* * * * *

 

“It says here that the remaining robber will be moved to Herinnering Gaol as soon as he is ready to leave hospital,” said Mrs. Colbshallow, her face buried in the morning paper. “And Miss D is being considered for a Citizen’s Safety Award.”

“It’s considered safe to shoot two people now, is it?” It was Merriman, the main floor butler. “If I’d shot two men, I’d be in prison. She shoots two men and they give her a bloody medal.”

“Best not to think things like that,” said Zeah.

“Especially out loud,” added Yuah.

“It’s you, Yuah, that she usually wants to shoot,” said Barrymore, the upstairs butler, grinning.

“She can’t shoot me. She couldn’t live without me.”

“Don’t get cheeky,” said Zeah. “I had to hire four new ones this week.”

“Well, it’s not as if these men didn’t deserve to get shot,” said Mrs. Colbshallow. “Imagine trying to rob someone in broad daylight. We need more police, that’s what we need.”

“I’m going to be a copper in a few years,” said Saba, walking in from the front hallway and sitting down.

“No you aren’t,” his mother informed him. “I would be forever worrying. It’s far too dangerous for any child of mine.”

Saba didn’t reply to his mother or point out that he was the only child of hers. He just scooped up large mounds of fried eggs, white pudding, and sausages. Mrs. Colbshallow went back to commenting on the news, particularly how information of the coming eclipse did not belong in the weather section. With Saba’s addition there were eleven people eating breakfast in the servant’s hall at that moment, a good portion of the staff having already eaten and started on their morning duties, and those few who had the overnight shift had mostly already gone to bed. Marna, one of the last of the latter group came in from the side hallway, looking like she could fall asleep on her feet at any moment.

“Yuah, Master Terrence wants to see you,” she said.

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m just the messenger.”

Yuah turned to look at Marna, and saw Terrence standing in the hallway several paces behind her.

“I’m not his valet.” With careful precision, she lifted her chin into the air and turned back to the table. “I’m the dressing maid.”

A minute later, under the guise of reaching for a scone, she cast a sideways look at the spot where he had been standing to find that he was now gone.

 

* * * * *

 

Karl Drury was a shadow of his former self—literally. As far as anyone knew, he still made his rounds through the fortress of Schwarztogrube, he still hurled insults at almost everyone, and he still stuffed his ugly face in the mess hall. If he beat some of the prisoners less than he used to or abused the boys less than he used to, who was going to complain about that? The only one who seemed bothered by Drury these days was Nils Chapman. He began to shake every time Drury entered the room and he refused to look at him. But Chapman knew what nobody else did. That was not really Karl Drury. The real Karl Drury was dead. He had dropped the sadistic guard’s body into the ocean himself. Of course Nils Chapman was a shadow of his former self too—figuratively. His eyes had gone dull and his skin was pale. He didn’t sleep anymore and he could hardly eat.

“One thousand nine hundred eighty-three days,” he muttered to himself over and over again, from his spot, curled up in a ball in the corner of the cell.

“Don’t worry, Pet.” Zurfina reached down and stroked his hair. “It’s almost over. This time tomorrow we’ll both be gone.”

Chapman grabbed hold of her leg and held it close as he kept his eyes pressed tightly shut. He couldn’t bear to see the walls, all four of which were covered in ghastly markings of smeared blood, and all four of which pulsed and throbbed sickeningly.

Brechalon – Chapter Seven Part Two

Brechalon (New Cover)“I doubt there’s anyone left in either of those towns.” Terrence led his sister to one of the few remaining empty tables, pulled out a chair for her, and then sat down himself.

The two team captains joined the umpire on the pitch for the coin toss. It was determined that Ville Colonie would bat first and the players took their positions. The West Brumming bowler was getting his eye in as a heavyset blond batsman waited. At last the match started as the bowler sent a beautiful bouncer down the wicket, but a loud crack indicated a shot and the two batsmen, including the big chap, went running.

“Would you like something to drink?” Terrence asked.

“Is there a waiter?” wondered Iolanthe, looking around.

“No, there’s a snack kiosk over there.” He pointed to a small shed just beyond the visiting team hutch. “What would you like?”

“I don’t suppose they have any wine.”

“I doubt it.”

“A beer then.”

Terrence took his place in the queue, only occasionally looking back at the game. He wasn’t really that interested in cricket, even though he had played it at university. There was no point in telling Iolanthe though. Once she had her head set on something, it wasn’t likely to change. He purchased two bottles of beer, which came in tall brown bottles with cork stoppers.

Just as he turned around to leave, he was approached by a young woman with long red hair. She was dressed in a long brown skirt and a white blouse and looked as though she might have just come from a factory job. She was pretty, in a course sort of way, and she wore no makeup.

“Can you help me, sir?” she asked, and then turned and began to walk away before Terrence could answer.

He shrugged and followed her, a beer bottle in each hand, around the corner of the kiosk and between a pair of small sheds. As he made the second corner, Terrence came face to face with three men. Two of them were brandishing knives. For a second he didn’t recognize them. Then suddenly he did. They were three men outside Blackwood’s. The memory of the white opthalium made his eyes water slightly. What was it that Blackwood called the first fellow… Mickey, Mikey, Mika?

“Thanks luv. Hurry on your way,” said Mika to the girl, who quickly left. He then turned and smiled unpleasantly at Terrrence. “You’re so happy t’see me your eyes are waterin’ eh?”

“I’m sentimental,” Terrence replied.

The toughs had chosen their spot well. They were shielded from the street by a hedgerow and from the cricket game and the spectators by the sheds. Without conscious thought, Terrence’s mind ran through his options. He could drop one of the beers and go for the pistol in his pocket. He could simply bash the bottles into a couple of skulls. In either scenario, he’d probably take at least one knife blade. He could always yell for help. There were plenty of people within earshot, probably even a copper. Again, he’d probably get stabbed. Besides, he’d never yelled for help in his life.

“Care for a beer?” he asked.

“I’m goin’ t’enjoy lettin’ the air outa you.”

Suddenly there was a loud report followed by a wet smack and the man behind Mika, Mika’s brother Terrence suddenly remembered, dropped to the ground with a massive hole in his chest pouring out blood like a johnny pump. Before anyone had time to think or to move or to think about moving, three more shots rang out. The beer bottles in Terrence’s hands exploded and then a good portion of Mika’s jaw was ripped off his face. He dropped to the ground with a gurgled scream, while the third man in the group turned and ran. Terrence turned to his left, still holding the shattered remains of the bottles, to find Iolanthe in a cloud of gun smoke, a .45 caliber pistol pointed in his general direction. It was an exact match to the one in his pocket save only that hers had a pearl handle.

“Kafira’s tit, Iolanthe! You almost hit me!”

“You’re welcome,” she replied, closing her left eye and taking a bead on the fleeing man’s back.

“Let him go,” he said, and looked down at the sad remains of Mika, now whining pitifully.

A police constable came jogging up from behind Terrence, followed by a few cricket players, one carrying a bat, as well as a few stout fellows from the grandstand.

“These men were trying to rob my brother,” said Iolanthe, stepping forward.

“Oh, it’s you, Miss Dechantagne,” said the constable. “Are you injured?”

“No PC, thank you for asking, but I believe one or both of the men I shot may be in need of ambulance service.”

The constable knelt down and checked Mika’s brother for a pulse.

“This one doesn’t need an ambulance. He’s dead. What are these boys doing so far from the Bottom?”

“Not to belabor the point,” said Iolanthe. “But I believe they were practicing daylight robbery.”

“Even so. Will you be leaving now?”

“Of course not. The match is not over.” She flipped open the revolver and used her fingernail to pull out the spent cartridges. “Come along Terrence.”

The constable left for the police telegraph box to call for an ambulance, while a man from the grandstand rendered what aid there was to give. Everyone else, including the Dechantagne siblings wandered back toward the game. Terrence, who was still holding the spouts and necks of the broken bottles, dropped them in a dust bin as they rounded the corner to the snack kiosk.

“Where did you have that pistol?” he asked. “You don’t have a handbag.”

“I have plenty of room for it under my dress.”

He glanced at his sister’s form. While the top of her dress was very form-fitting indeed, the bottom half of her, thanks to her bustle and voluminous undergarments, blossomed out to such a degree that she could have hidden the arsenal for the good part of a rifle company within her skirts.

Brechalon – Chapter Seven Part One

Brechalon (New Cover)My Dear Miss Dechantagne,

It was with deep regret that I left your company on the twenty-fifth, but I ease the ache within me by recalling the week that I spent with you. Surely no other fine lady of the Great City can equal you in hospitality, graciousness, or dare I say beauty.

The funds that you forwarded for the new machine have been received and put to good use. I have hired a new assistant in whom I see a great deal of promise. With her assistance and with the aid of Mr. Murty, of whom I believe I spoke during our conversations, we should be ready to begin construction within a matter of weeks.

I will of course keep you informed of the major milestones as they occur, but I would very much enjoy a visit by you to University Ponte-a-Verne. I believe you would find the architecture and the gardens to your liking and the village has many interesting sites as well. I would be more than pleased to extend some semblance of the kind courtesy that you offered me.

Eagerly awaiting your next letter,

Your humble servant,

Merced Baines Calliere PhD.

Iolanthe folded the letter closed, and with a satisfied smile, placed it in her letterbox. Clearly the Professor was smitten. She thought that he was someone that she could marry. He was certainly interesting, from a well-placed if not wealthy family. He was intelligent and relatively resourceful. Best of all he seemed willing enough to be led, which would spare her from the tiresomeness of a man who would pretend to be her master. That there was no spark of passion, at least from her perspective, didn’t bother her. She had never known it and she didn’t believe it existed.

She placed the letterbox in the bottom drawer of her private desk just as the head butler entered, carrying a silver tray.

“The morning post has arrived, Miss.”

The letter from Professor Calliere had arrived on the evening post the day before. Iolanthe typically did not open her letters until she was ready to reply to them, but she took the bundle of envelopes, tied together with a bit of red ribbon, and looked through them. There was a letter from Mrs. Godwin back in Shopton, Mont Dechantagne and there were several bills from the carpenters that should have gone to her solicitor. Then there was an official looking envelope with a golden wax seal, which when opened, was revealed as a hand-written note from the Prime Minister.

Dear Miss Dechantagne,

I have made the arrangements we discussed earlier. The vehicle in question will be under refit for the next nine months, so I suggest you plan your timetable accordingly.

With Regards,

E. P.

“Why Prime Minister, how very cloak and dagger of you. ‘The vehicle in question.’ No one would suspect that a vehicle under refit would be a ship.” She laughed.

“Muh… Miss?”

“What is it, Zeah?”

“Are um… are you really going to Mallon?”

“If I do, don’t worry. You shall go with me.”

“Muh… me?”

“Of course, Zeah. Why, I wouldn’t be able to function without you.”

“But, what would I duh… do?”

“I’m sure we’ll find enough to keep you busy.” She smiled. “Now, have the car brought around. My brother and I are going out.”

Zeah raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t seen much of Master Terrence at all in the three months he had been home. But he hurried off to see that the vehicle was made ready. It was more than simply bringing it around. Care had to be taken to see that the boiler was filled with water and the firebox was filled with coal, and lit, and that a good volume of steam was allowed to build up.

Half an hour later, Iolanthe sat impatiently behind the steering wheel. Her leather driving gloves just matched her green day dress. The tall black top hat with white flowers that she had chosen was tied to her head with a large strip of green ribbon. Zeah, who stood on the sidewalk, watched as her eyes grew narrower and narrower. He was very happy when at last Master Terrence walked down the steps. Terrence wore a new grey suit with a red plaid waistcoat. He had shaved, but had dark bags under his eyes. Rather than climbing into the passenger seat, he walked around to the driver’s side.

“Move over,” he said.

“I’m driving,” said Iolanthe.

“No. No, you’re not.”

“It is the year of our Lord eighteen hundred ninety-seven and women can drive.”

“Some women can drive. Not you. Scoot over.”

Iolanthe pursed her lips but moved across the seat to the other side, careful not to smash her bustle. Folding her hands in her lap, she waited for her brother to climb in and get settled. He released the brake with his right hand and stepped on the forward accelerator with his right foot, and they were off.

“Where are we going now?” Terrence asked.

“King’s Park Oval. You remember where it is?”

“Of course I remember.” He pressed his foot down on the decelerator and whipped around the fountain of Lord Oxenbourse and drove north up Scrum Boulevard. “Why are we going there?”

“West Brumming is playing Ville Colonie.”

“I thought you hated cricket.”

“I don’t hate cricket.”

“Yes you do. You hate all sports.”

“I don’t hate sports.” Iolanthe explained. “I just don’t see the point of watching a group of men you don’t even know play at games, let alone of rooting for them. I went to one or two games when I was at university.”

“Well, St. Dante isn’t playing. So why are we going now?”

“I thought it would be good for you to get out of the house for a bit. You’ve hardly gone out of doors since you arrived.”

“Hmm,” said Terrence noncommittally. He concentrated on his driving but after a few minutes felt his sister’s eyes on him. “What?”

“Perhaps you should visit a bordello.”

Terrence almost lost control of the vehicle and swerved into another lane. “Kafira!”

“I know men have needs.”

“Iolanthe…”

“Perhaps that’s why you’re feeling poorly.”

“Please stop talking.”

“When was the last time you were with a woman?”

“If you don’t shut up, I may never be able to be with a woman again.”

“All I’m saying is that it may not be healthy to keep things bottled up, so to speak.”

Terrence stamped down on the forward accelerator taking the steam carriage near its top speed of forty miles per hour, but had to almost immediately decrease the speed to turn off onto the grassy drive to the cricket grounds. Thankfully Iolanthe remained quiet as he parked the car at the end of a line of similar vehicles. He climbed down and walked around to help her down. She opened her parasol and took his arm and they walked toward the bleachers.

“Just think about it,” she said.

“Shut up,” he snapped, and then muttered, “I shall be able to think of little else.”

Ville Colonie had been designated as the visitors, randomly it seemed as this was the home grounds of neither team. Ville Colonie was a village on the small channel island of Petitt Elvert, while West Brumming was a small town about fifty miles north of Brech City. The team members from the north were dressed in white shirts and grey dungarees, while the team from Ville Colonie, as might be expected from those descended from Mirsannan immigrants, were flamboyantly arrayed in bright blue stripes. Next to the home team hutch were several dozen chairs around tables with large parasols, where all of the women and the men who were with them sat, while next to the visitors’ hutch was a grandstand filled entirely with men.

“Good heavens,” said Iolanthe. “I had no idea that cricket was so popular. There must be four hundred people here.”

Writing or Reading?

I’m in the second week of my new grad classes.  Twenty-one and a half weeks to go.  A research paper a week, plus essentially daily blog posts.  Add that to preparing for my students and grading about 4,000 assignments from them.  Plus some time in there, I have to find time to eat, go to the bathroom, and maybe talk to my wife.  I’m not finding any time to write my stories.

I have been reading though.  I’ve always enjoyed reading and always had a book with me for moments when I found myself waiting for someone or something.  Now I’ve got my iPhone loaded with about 1,000 books.  I’ve read some good ones by people other than me.  Right now though, I’m reading Senta and the Steel Dragon.  It may sound funny that I’m reading my own books (for maybe the hundredth time), but the secret is… I really wrote them for myself, so I can’t help but enjoy them.  Of course I’m also looking for typos and mistakes and find a few, which I’ll fix and upload new versions.

So far over the past two weeks or so, I’ve read Brechalon, The Voyage of the Minotaur, The Dark and Forbidding Land, and I’ve just started The Drache Girl.  I find The Voyage of the Minotaur a little slow, but once you get to about chapter five, it really takes off.  The slow start is sort of mitigated if you read Brechalon first– you can read it as a straight first volume, or later as a prequel.  The Dark and Forbidding Land I loved.  I forgot just how much I loved it until I finished it again.  It is my most tyrannosaurus-heavy book.  I think it works pretty good as a stand-alone too.

Well, enjoy your February, and happy reading.