His Robot Wife – Chapter 5 Excerpt

His Robot WifeMike decided that their adventure would begin on Tuesday and that he and Patience would spend three or four days on the road—depending on how much fun he was having. Monday therefore was spent getting their things ready. Patience did most of the work, packing and loading, and even reprogramming the sentry system to account for their absence. Mike called Harriet to let her know that he was going to be out of town and to check on how she felt. Neither mentioned the unpleasantness of the previous day. Secure in the knowledge that everything had been taken care of, that night he played a long session of Age of Destruction before watching Celebrity Rat Race.

Mike planned on spending the first day and night in Carlsbad, which was only a three hour drive away, so he didn’t bother getting up early. They left the house just after nine and pulled off of I5 and onto Carlsbad Village Drive just after noon. Relatively few cars were on the streets of the village, in marked contrast to the last time that Mike had visited, five years before. He tried to remember if that had been a weekday or the weekend, but he couldn’t recall. Patience had been quiet for the past several minutes, but suddenly spoke up.

“That’s where I bought your swimsuit the last time we were here.”

“Is it? Yes, I guess it is. Did you bring the suits?”

“I recycled those suits 567 days ago. I purchased new suits on the Infinet.”

“Five hundred sixty seven days? That’s an odd way of saying it? Why not say one year and this many months and this many days?”

“I was trying to make it simple,” said Patience. “If you prefer, I can describe the time passage as one year, six months, nineteen days, four hours, nineteen minutes, and thirty two seconds.”

“And what good would that do me?”

“None, which is precisely my point. Besides, we’re not going into the water, at least not here. You could get your genitals bit off by a very large squid.”

“I don’t think that happens very often,” said Mike.

“It’s happened more than once, so it’s something to be worried about. And no sunbathing either. If we go out on the sand, you wear the required SPF 210 sunblock.”

Carlsbad was not a very large town and so Mike was able to reach the location of the hotel in which he had previously stayed, driving the narrow and winding streets at thirty miles per hour, in less than twenty minutes. He stopped the car and climbed out, his mouth open wide in surprise. The little inn on Ocean Street that had been his accommodations every time he had visited, since the early days of his marriage to Tiffany was gone. The little hotel had leaned against the side of the hill so that its landward side had only one story, while its seaward side had three stories, the bottom one resting right on the beach. In its place was a tall black tower.

“Shit. When did that get here?”

“It’s new.”

Mike looked left and right. Though this was the only such tower, the lots to either side were now construction sites, the small inns and condos for rent all gone. He leaned his head back and looked up.

“I don’t know if I want to stay here.”

Details – Voting in the Future

His Robot GirlfriendSo many things in His Robot Girlfriend were not that different than in our own times (because I don’t think the 2030s will really be all that different), that I struggled to add a few fantastic elements. It is after all, a science fiction story.

One area that I changed up quite a bit from our present world was the presidential election that is occurring in the background of the story. I made three parties the status quo in the stories, not because I’m an advocate of the Green Party (who is the third along with the Democrats and Republicans), though I do consider myself an environmentalist, but I just thought three parties would be more interesting. I don’t think America will ever have more than two major parties (the 1912 election nowithstanding). I also gave the US 57 states, including Cuba– also pretty unlikely– though maybe not as unlikely as when I wrote it.

Some reforms that I added that I do think might happen, and would be welcome, are Internet voting, and a single election time across the nation. In the story, voting occurs between 7AM Eastern Time and 7PM Pacific Time. Though states are currently firmly in control of election procedures, with the rate of technological change, I could see both of these things happening.

As always though, I chose these things not because I like the idea myself, but because I thought it was more interesting for the story. If you haven’t read His Robot Girlfriend, check it out. It’s free just about anywhere you can find ebooks, and has been downloaded to date 444,769 times.

His Robot Wife – Chapter 3 Excerpt

His Robot WifePatience’s anger seemingly dissolved just as Mike was getting into bed. By that time he had decided that he was looking forward to robot make-up sex. It turned out that it was just as fantastic as sex always was with his robot wife, but not any more fantastic. He fell asleep pondering the possibility that he had missed his only chance at angry robot sex. He woke up the next morning to find her lying next to him, lightly snoring.

“Oh, wake up.”

“Good morning,” she said, jumping to her feet. “What would you like for breakfast, a vegetable omelet?”

“Wait a second. Don’t we need to talk? We’ve just had our first fight.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Now that I think about it, that has to be some kind of record— five years before a married couple has a fight.”

“I didn’t come programmed to be a wife,” said Patience. “I’m learning as I go along.”

“That’s only natural. It… wait a second. Are you saying that you programmed yourself to get angry?”

“Of course,” she replied. “If I never got angry then I wouldn’t be able to fight with you.”

“Why would you want to fight with me?”

“We’re married, Mike. Married people fight.”

“They do?”

“That’s what all the literature says.”

“And how did you know how long to stay angry?” he asked, climbing out of bed.

“One mustn’t go to bed angry, Mike. I’m not sure why.”

Settings: Mansfield Perk

His Robot Wife: Patience is a VirtueIn the His Robot Girlfriend books and the upcoming His Robot Wife: A Great Deal of Patience, the local coffee establishment is based on the world of Jane Austen and is called Mansfield Perk. I admit that when I thought it up, I thought it was far more clever than it probably is.

A friend once asked me why Starbuck’s was named after a character from Moby Dick. Did Starbuck drink a lot of coffee? I used that conversation in His Robot Wife. I also used an experience I myself had at Starbucks, when the barrista asked if she could “try something” and made me a bizarre frappuccino concoction. In the story, she makes ice tea. This came from a British cooking show I once watched where the chef made “American Ice Tea” which bore no resemblence to anything I’ve ever seen an American drink. It was mostly orange juice with about 5 lbs. of mint stuck in it.

There are probably more of my own experiences in the Robot series than any of my other books. This is because Mike, the main character is more like me than any other character that I’ve created. There are characters I wish I was more like, but I’m not.

His Robot Wife – Chapter 2 Excerpt

His Robot WifeHaving no real idea where he was heading, Mike drove down the familiar streets of Springdale. He passed dozens of fast food restaurants and though he wasn’t hungry, thought about stopping for a drink. They all looked incredibly busy though, and he didn’t want to have to sit in a crowd. Then he noticed a new coffee shop in the Springdale shopping center. Pulling into the parking lot he marveled that there were so few cars, but then noticed that Starbucks about a hundred yards away was having some kind of promotion that involved a large inflatable mermaid on the roof. He parked and crossed the blisteringly hot parking lot.

TexTee in hand, Mike entered through the front door of Mansfield Perk. The inside was lavishly decorated in faux Regency English style with white table linens and doilies. Behind the counter was a young woman, her hair in a bun, wearing an Empire line dress dotted with little roses, and a young man with curly hair and long sideburns wearing a burgundy waistcoat and knotted white cravat.

“Good day to you, sir,” said the young woman with a curtsey. “It was so lovely you could come visiting on this day.”

“Thanks,” replied Mike, looking up at the menu written in chalk on a black slate board. “Elizabeth Bennet’s Black? Mr. Darcy’s Mochachino? What have you got that’s cool? Iced Tea?”

“Yes, sir. We have the world’s best iced teas. What kind of tea do you prefer?”

“Um, I’m not really sure.”

“Could I try something?” she asked.

Mike waited for several seconds to hear what she wanted to try, but when she didn’t elaborate, he said. “Okay.”

“You’ll like it. I promise.” Then she hurried around the corner to the back room to “try something.”

“Mindless drones,” said the young man behind the counter.

Mike followed his gaze to the Starbucks.

“What do mermaids have to do with coffee anyway?”

“It’s the book,” offered Mike. “Moby Dick. That’s where the name Starbuck comes from.”

“Does Starbuck drink a lot of coffee in Moby Dick?”

“No, I don’t think so—just the usual amount one would drink as a sailor I guess.”

“Well then, it’s a stupid name for a coffee shop.”

Mike thought about mentioning that there were probably at least as many references to coffee in Herman Melville’s work as there were in all of Jane Austen’s, but he held his tongue. Just then the girl returned with a large glass filled with an orange beverage that could in no way have been iced tea, with twenty or so foot long sprigs of mint sticking from the top.  Taking the glass, he found a spot in the corner and sat down, leaned his texTee up against a sugar bowl and fished the mint out of his drink.

So far as he could tell, the drink was about ninety percent orange juice. If there was any tea at all in it, it was vastly overpowered by citrus. It was cool though. And sweet. And minty.

“News,” he said and the small screen in front of him came to life, filled mostly with text, but a window in the top right corner was occupied by a broadcast correspondent. “No. No. Text only. Headlines.”

He silently scanned through the headlines. “President Mendoza tours Antarctic factories.” “India and Iran will host the 2038 and 2039 world cups.” “Vice President McPhee questions the sincerity of Democrats regarding cutting the budget.” “Sixty four people killed in Bosnian hotel fire.” “Court rules sex with a child-like robot does not violate pedophilia laws.” “Great white sightings may be a sign that sharks are not extinct.” “Daffodil touts benefits of BioSoft 1.9.3.”

Technology: His Robot Wife

A Great Deal of PatienceWhen I wrote His Robot Girlfriend in 2008, there was no iPad yet. There was a Sony Reader and an Amazon Kindle, and I imagined them replacing books, so I gave Mike a texTee. I don’t know how I came up with the name, but I thought it was pretty clever. Then the iPad came out and made my original idea look kind of lame. So when I wrote His Robot Wife, I updated the texTee and made it more advanced than an iPad, with a voice activated interface.  Along comes Siri, and I’m outdated again!

One thing my characters don’t have in my robot stories is a computer. One of my ideas was that computers just don’t exist anymore as standalone items. They have computers in everything. People use texTees (Tablets), wriTees (word processor and more), and vueTees (televisions). The vueTees have (according to the story): interactivity, inscope (don’t know what that would be), Infinet connections, and threed (probably something like 3D). They also use t-pods (advanced ipods maybe) and something called an andTee.

I just added the andTee so there would be something that nobody knows about today that they have in the future. I remember reading the cross-time novels by Harry Turtledove. In those books, the people of the future have video games and music and something called a fasarta which is never explained. Maybe the andTee and the fasarta are the same thing.

Right now, I’m in the midst of writing A Great Deal of Patience. My plan is for this to be the first full-length Patience novel.  Keep an eye out here on your computer or your texTee for more updates. Thanks.

Motivations: His Robot Girlfriend: Charity

HRG CharityI had been working on an outline for the next robot book, which I planned on calling His Robot Wife: A Great Deal of Patience.  While I was doing that, I came up with a plot line that I wanted to write about.  This probably grew out of my frustrations with writing Kanana the Jungle Girl, which I had been trying to finish, but couldn’t quite, and which also had a similar plot line woven into it.

I could have written this plot in any number of ways– made it an entirely new story or a space opera story.  Knowing that people were clamoring for a new robot book, I decided to go that way.  Of course the story didn’t fit with Patience and Mike, so I created Charity and Dakota.  I decided to throw a bit of the back story that I had been working on for A Great Deal of Patience, along with a cameo by Mike, and there is a quick little book.  As I mentioned the other day, it took me only forty-two days to write.

Now I’m working on A Great Deal of Patience.  It has changed a lot, because much of what I had originally planned was in Charity.  That’s really working out well, because I can move the plot along without having to worry about doling out background tidbits.  The story has to be able to stand on its own though and I think it will.  Both Dakota and Charity will appear in the new book, especially Charity, as this is a much more robot-centered story and less human-centered.  Watch this space for more information on the upcoming book.

Motivations: His Robot Girlfriend

His Robot Girlfriend is Free on iBooksIt was 2008, and I had just finished writing the first draft of a massive fantasy novel that I was calling The Steel Dragon. This would eventually become The Voyage of the Minotaur, The Drache Girl, and The Two Dragons. I printed up 10 copies and handed them out to friends to read and edit over the summer. Each one was a 4″ thick notebook. I had also just self-published Princess of Amathar.

While I was waiting for the editing to be completed, I thought I needed something to post to Feedbooks and Manybooks to get my name out there. I had written some sci-fi flash fiction a few years earlier and thought I could piece them together to make a novel. This became the first half of His Robot Girlfriend and I wrote the other half over the summer (while teaching summer school). I published it online and was astounded at the interest. At one time, it was the third most downloaded book on Feedbooks.

His Robot Girlfriend succeeded in getting my name out there. It’s been downloaded almost 500,000 times, has been reviewed numerous times, and I get many emails and notes from people that enjoy it. That being said, I think it’s far from my best story.

One comment that detractors frequently make about His Robot Girlfriend (feedback is overwhelmingly positive) is that Patience has no will of her own. She is a robot, duh! But this gave me an idea for the new book– His Robot Wife: Patience is a Virtue. It shows a bit more from her point of view and we find out that not everything is as Mike thinks it is.

The newest edition of the series will be His Robot Wife: A Great Deal of Patience, and will be the first full-length novel featuring the characters.  And as they title suggests, it will feature a great deal of Patience.

Brechalon Characters: Senta

Brechalon (New Cover)Spoiler Alert
In Brechalon, Senta is only seven years old. Had she not been the title character of the series, I would have left her out, since the story takes place before she does anything of importance. I’m glad that I put her in, because it gives me a chance to show a little of her world. Senta lives with her Granny and five of her cousins in a tenenment apartment. We see that even though she had no magical capabilities, she does have an affinity for magic and can sense it even at a distance.

Senta is described as an orphan in all the other books, but in Brechalon we get the hint that she may not be one in actuality. It is possible that her parents simply abandoned her. We find out the ultimate truth of this in Book 5: The Two Dragons.

His Robot Girlfriend – Politics

His Robot Girlfriend is Free on iBooksPeople accuse me of having all kinds of hidden agendas in the robot books, both political and otherwise. Some have suggested that I’m a radical environmentalist because of the prominance of the Green Party in the story, and the inevitability of global warming. I do care about the environment, but the reason that the Green Party plays a part is that I thought it would be more fun to have three parties vying for the presidency than two.

Others have said the story is a thinly veiled treatis on same-sex marriage. There is a reference to the fact that same-sex marriage is more common in the future of the story. That is not an endorsement by me. I don’t have really strong feelings about it one way or the other. I do think the institution of marriage is being damaged less by same sex couples than by people (either gay or straight) who practice serial monogamy– getting married and divorced over and over again. I’ve been married to the same woman for 30 years.

One area that few people get is the parallel of Apple Computers. I tried to parody and reference Apple in a number of ways. I find Apple and Apple fandom both interesting and humorous. On the other hand, though I wasn’t part of it when I wrote the first book, I wouldn’t give up either my iPad, my iMacs or my iPhone 6 for anything now.